Another game to get rid of people

As has been related in previous entries in this blog, Dr G engaged in various subterfuges in an attempt to make people leave the group. Because of the way Dr G portrayed himself, the group, and his aspirations, it was impossible for Dr G to ask someone to leave the group, or to tell someone to leave the group.

Dr G was always stressing family, loyalty, and dignity. How could you invite someone to join your group, then ask them to leave or tell them to leave, and expect the remaining group members to still believe that you are loyal and think of them as family?

So Dr G had to use his psychological and kung fu skills to try to trick or manipulate people into leaving the group.

Dr G was a psychiatrist with a psychiatric practice. That was his "real" job. As opposed to teaching kung fu being a lucrative hobby or side job.

Dr G had asked all of the members of the group to go see him at his practice. The purpose was to have one on one time with Dr G, as opposed to seeing him in the role of a psychiatric patient. The time was to be spent talking about Ba Gua or any other related kind of topic that would lead to an improvement in the students practice of Ba Gua.

Dr G charged a sliding scale for the visits to his one on one visits. Dr G had chosen a yuppie area for his operations so the students all had money. Dr G would charge poor people like me $70 or $75 dollars, while the rich yuppies might pay $125 or more per visit, depending on how rich they were.

Dr G would always say "If this is truly valuable to you, then the money is nothing." I always felt that if money was nothing, then why was he charging?

Dr G would respond to that question by saying that the money you paid was a measure of your dedication. If you were dedicated and truly had desire, you wouldn't care about the money in pursuit of bettering yourself.

Of course the money mattered everytime Dr G deposited it in the bank, but according to him, that was not the same thing.

Which brings us to this particular plot to try to get people to quit the Ba Gua group.

The appointments with Dr G were an hour long. One day Dr G comes to class and says he thinks that people are taking advantage of him. They are going to the one on one visits for an hour, but nothing is happening. Dr G says time is being wasted.

Dr G then states he is going to change the one on one visit time period from 1 hour to 45 minutes. The stated goal is to make people focus and work, because they now have a limited time with Dr G.

This is really funny if you think about it. Dr G is a businessmen selling a product. Dr G tells his customers that they do not measure up. Because the customers do not measure up, he is going to sell them less product for the same amount of money.

And the customers go along with it!!!!!!!!!!

What Dr G was doing was looking for sheep. If you were a sheep, you would pay any amount of money for time with Dr G. If you were a human being who could think for themselves, you would see that Dr G. was cheating you and you would do something about it. Hopefully leave from Dr G's point of view.

Another thing left unsaid was that if Dr G has an 8 hour day with 8 1 hour appointments, by reducing the appointment time to 45 minutes, he can see 2 more patients per day, at maybe $125 per 45 minute session.

Dr G really loves the money.

I cannot tell you if the plot worked or not. The men's group was so small that it would have been immediately obvious if someone left because the private session time was changed. No one left the men's group in that time period. Not for that reason anyways.

There could have been women who left the group over the change in private session time. As previously stated, the men were kept separate from the women, so I never had any idea how many there were or who they were.

By that time in the group's history, I think probably all the customers went right ahead and paid Dr G the businessman the same money for less product.

Sounds almost like he was selling drugs doesn't it? What other kind of people would willingly pay the same money for less product?

He was selling drugs. He was selling energy.

Interesting news article - Spritualist guru raped vulnerable women lured to his cult, court hears

Michael Lyons, 51, styled himself as spiritualist Mohan Singh and victims were convinced he was linked to the Dalai Lama, it is alleged.

But in fact he is a 'sexual predator' who raped and assaulted new or potentially new followers that he found attractive, a jury was told.

Prosecutor Philip Katz QC said: "We say the defendant, calling himself Mohan Singh, is a sexual predator masquerading as a Guru and healer.

"We say he has been systematically raping and sexually assaulting those new recruits into his group who he found attractive."

Lyons is said to have attacked seven women from 1998 to 2008.

Wood Green Crown Court heard the victims would be brought to him after female devotees had praised him as being 'enlightened'.

He would then criticise them and ask about whether they were sexually abused in the past, it was said. He would also convince them that he could help them, the court heard.

Bearded Lyons, who wore a purple robe in court, left one victim feeling drained and unable to move after performing a 'violent' neck twist on her and giving her acupuncture, the jury was told.

The court heard how Lyons was surrounded by a large group of young women who would follow his commands.

One victim, an American, said he raped her in July 1998, during a trip to London.

She said he had shown her a film which left her feeling 'in a strange mental state' before suddenly Lyons - who she knew as Mohan - was on top of her naked.

She told police: "I said something to the effect that I didn't want to be doing this. He offered me more spiritual mumbo jumbo. He also said something along the lines that I was a tiger or a dragon."

The woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, said he had convinced her to stop taking medication.

She told the court: "I threw out my medication at some time during the time with Mohan because this person I believed to be affiliated with the Dalai Lama recommended it and I believed him to be trying to help me."

Another alleged rape victim wept as she told the jury how she had been attacked at Lyons' flat in north London in June 2002.

She said in a previous job in 1998 a female colleague called 'Gina' had tried to persuade her to meet Mohan. She said: "She told me he was an enlightened person. She presented him as a spiritual, maybe psychic person."

Having declined those invitations, four years later Gina walked into a gym where the victim was now working and they agreed to meet up for a drink.

They met and Gina had brought along a large group of female friends, the court heard, before they eventually went back to a flat in Belsize Park where Lyons lived.

She told the court Lyons had criticised her for being Buddhist before emerging with a burning frying pan that smelt of herbs and wafted it around her mumbling incoherent words.

He then beckoned her to lie on a massage couch with the other women still around and Gina encouraging her, she said.

Once she was on the couch he twisted her neck suddenly, before remarking to the others: "Doesn't she look better". He then told her to walk around the circle of women who made comments about her, the victim said.

She said she began to feel 'uncomfortable' when she was singled out for special treatment like being given a blanket and particular drinks to sip from.

She told the court she "suddenly" came to her senses and wanted to leave but was told Mohan wanted to say goodbye and beckoned her to the massage couch again.

She said: "He manoeuvred my neck and it was so violent I thought he had broken my neck. I was completely stunned.

"Next I saw him putting acupuncture needles in me. He hadn't asked me. I didn't want him to put needles in me. I was just petrified.

"The girls said they were leaving and I said 'not without me' and Gina said 'He needs to finish his treatment."

After the acupuncture she collapsed and felt like she had 'no strength' before he ushered her into his bedroom and raped her despite her pleas for him to stop, the woman told the court.

Lyons, of Belsize Park, north London, denies five counts of rape and three counts of assault.

The trial continues.

Set up to leave under my own power

It has been ages since I have written in this blog. Someone hasn't been happy I assume so my mind has been occupied with other things. ;)

As has been the case with many of these later entries, this one is out of time sequence and will have to be ordered chronologically eventually.

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At some point in the 3rd year of my time with Dr G, Dr G made references to God. The focus of the group up to that point in time had been helping or changing the world for the better. A laudable goal for any organization whether it was a Yin Fu Ba Gua class or a class at the local high school.

Dr G felt that bringing God into things was equivalent to aspiring towards a higher plane of existence. Since Yin Fu Ba Gua was also focused on aspiring towards a higher plane of existence, talking about God fit into the class.

I did not like this idea. I wasn't much of a God person, and I felt it was a distraction from kung fu. The class was a group though, so if he needed to talk to the group about things that were not important to me, well it was a group so the individual is expected to be tolerant. I didn't mind being tolerant and listening to Dr G talk about God. It was part of my job of being a good student. Besides. I listened to every single word Dr G uttered in the hope I would find some help with my health situation.

Dr G then decided he thought it would be a good idea to talk to me personally about God. The subject came up in the private meetings I had with him. I voiced my discomfort with the subject of God and my rejection of the idea or the need for talking about God. Dr G talked some more about God and how he felt it would be a positive thing for me. I went ahead and agreed with Dr G because I had faith in him as a Dr of Chinese medicine, a Ba Gua man, A Tai Chi man, and a Dr of Psychology, that he was telling me things his experience felt would improve my health situation.

I took Dr G's advice about God to heart. I picked up some books on various culture's beliefs in God or Gods and I thought about the subject on my own. I would parrot some of the things that Dr G said about God, or I would participate in a discussion about God, where before I would have remained silent on the subject because I felt it was pointless.

Dr G probably spent some months, I would say at least 6 or so, bringing up the subject of God. The class meetings might take any direction, so if Dr G began talking about God and talked about God off and on for 6 months, it wasn't so out of the ordinary.

At some point in time there was going to be the yearly class family gathering. Every year the entire class would get together for lunch or dinner somewhere. It was different from the Ba Gua class because many people could not attend the Ba Gua class. At the yearly gatherings, all of Dr G's students would try to show up.

This yearly gathering was held at a church. The gathering was eventful as will be fully described in other entries to this blog. The event of this entry was the entertainment and initiation.

A new person wanted to join the group. The man was an older man who was a lawyer. I personally felt he was not suited to joining the group. I did not know it at the time, but I suspect Dr G had been hobnobbing with the rich, and this lawyer was one of those rich people. He was curious about Dr G and wanted to join to be around Dr G, not because he was interested in learning about Ba Gua.

Dr G told us that we were going to hold the man's interview for joining the group in front of the people at the yearly gathering. That seemed odd to me. The interview process felt to me like a private kind of thing that was not suited for an audience. After thinking about it for some time, I eventually came to the conclusion that Dr G wanted the interview in front of those people, as a way to put pressure on the lawyer for some reason. Dr G was always testing people, so I figured the public interview was just another game to see where the lawyer would jump.

Dr G wanted each of us to say something during the interview. Looking back, I can see that having each of us speak publicaly would give the gathering a chance to see each of us and form some kind of reaction. I didn't want to publicly speak and I didn't understand why he wanted us to speak at the time.

Since Dr G was gung ho for God at that time, I wrote down 3 or 4 paragraphs that basically parrotted everything that Dr G had been saying for the past 3 years, with a special emphasis on how God could help you out. It felt stupid and false to me, but I didn't care. That was what Dr G was telling me would help my health situation, so I was talking about God.

I feel silly now because I honestly at the time felt like talking about God was like taking a pill or doing a special exercise. I honestly felt like Dr G was telling me if I started talking about God, Poof!, my health would improve. My health was so bad at that time, I would have done anything to try to improve it, even going so far as to believe that talking about God would Poof! make me healthy.

The time came for us to do the interview bit. I was incredibly nervous about speaking publicly in front of strangers, because I knew that I was a.......difficult to accept individual. Besides having to speak publicly in front of strangers, I knew there was something about me that seemed to turn people the wrong way.

We all sat up on stage in a semicircle with the lawyer in front of us. The gathering was quite large so it was just as intimidating as I imagined it. The various group members asked the lawyer their various questions as would normally be done during the interview process. Then each person gave their speech about what they felt was important for the lawyer to know about Ba Gua.

It came to be my turn and I read my speech. There was one particular line where I wrote something about how important it was to pay attention to or believe in God. I remember that line because when I read it out loud, it felt like I shouted it. I felt like I shouted the line because it was something I didn't really believe. I shouted it so no one would notice I was saying something I didn't really believe.

The interview finished up and everyone went back out into the gathering for the dinner. Another reason I clearly remember shouting the line about God in my speech, was that someone was talking to Dr G and I, and this person said to Dr G "I never thought I would hear this guy talk about God. He is really changing from being around you".

That statement bothered me because I felt guilty. I knew I was only saying the God stuff because Dr G said it would Poof! fix my health problems. I didn't really believe it. And then here was someone telling Dr G that they believed my act about saying how important God was........

As a Ba Gua man I was supposed to be honest and have integrity. I am naturally an honest person with integrity anyways. To stand their listening them talk about me doing something that I knew was a lie was difficult to deal with.

Nothing else from the yearly gathering is pertinent to this blog entry, so it is time to move on.

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Some time later Dr G went on vacation. In my third year with Dr G, Dr G began to disappear with what to me was unpleasant regularity. I was paying Dr G for Ba Gua lessons and for improving my health. I was dependent on Dr G because I needed my health problems fixed. When Dr G began to disappear all the time, I felt like I was being neglected.

One of Dr G's vacations involved going back to China to visit with his instructor who was getting old and close to dying. Dr G was going to be gone for a month. That seemed reasonable with traveling and visiting an old dying guy. It was hard to be upset about that.

The class went ahead and continued on for the month that Dr G was gone. When Dr G came back, everyone reacted with the elation they always had when he was around. No one else in the group was a very good talker. When Dr G was there, he might talk to the group for an hour or more about nothing in particular. When Dr G was gone, the group felt more like work, with people going through the motions and no one having anything to say on their own.

Whether it was his first Sunday back or a later Sunday I do not recall, but after Dr G came back from his vacation, he let the hatchet fall.

Dr G was giving the usual class talk and describing his experiences in China. He described how he had spent time talking with his instructor about the group and all the things the group and done and believed in. Then he dropped his bombshell.

Dr G said that he had talked to his instructor about God, and come to the conclusion that God was a waste of time. When Dr G made this statemnt, he looked right at me.

Dr G had set me up and just sprung the trap.

Dr G had encouraged me to believe in God because he knew I thought believing in God was a waste of time. Dr G was using my trust in him, to encourage me to do something I would never do unless I was encouraged to by someone I trusted.

After Dr G believed I was fully committed to believing in God, or in other words, after I gave Dr G my full trust, and ignored what I believed in order to believe what Dr G suggested, Dr G said something that he felt would completely destroy our relationship.

How else would I be expected to react when someone I trusted, Dr G, said right to my face in front of a group of people, that the advice he gave me was no good? The unstated implication being that anyone that did believe the advice was also no good?

Dr G had heard me put force on that word God in the interview at the gathering. Dr G must have felt that I had taken his advice about God strongly enough, that if he contradicted his advice, and joked about people who actually took his advice, that I would get angry and leave the group.

That really hurt me. To sit there thinking that this man whose hands I had put my trust and my health in, was purposefully manipulating me to hurt me and / or drive me away from the class. Especially when I could look at the 35 other people in the class he apparently had no problem with helping.

I didn't leave the group of course. I am much too stubborn to do that.

The Chinese medicine doctor, the psychologist, the Ba Gua man, the Tai Chi man named Dr G, had accepted me as a student and told me he would help me with my health problems. I knew without a doubt that it was within Dr G's abilities to help me with my health problems.

There was absolutely no way, no way at all, I would voluntarily have left the opportunity to have my health problems fixed. I was that desperate.

Sometimes I wonder what could have been so bad about my presence, that Dr G would have resorted to lies and manipulation, things he regularly condemned in his weekly talks to the group, to try to trick me or force me into leaving.

Then I think about Dr G talking to me about integrity, pride and morality, then lying to me and manipulating me.

If I really was such a hard person for Dr G to deal with, it must have been God paying Dr G back for using God's name in Dr G's petty little manipulation games.

No Shame

The following incident occurred after I had left Dr G's Ba Gua class. I do not believe that event has been chronicled in the blog as of yet.

A year or so after I had left the class, I received a phone call. Dr G was going to be in town and there was going to be a get together at one of the men's house. The call was to ask me if I would like to attend.

I found this very shocking because after I left the Ba Gua class, I had not had any contact with any of the people there. I had received a phone call from Steve with more tales of Mike's sexual relationships with the women in the women's group. I had not seen anyone from the group at all during that year.

I agreed to go. I was nervous and interested. Nervous because I left under less than happy circumstances. No one had talked to me for a year, and now here I was receiving an invitation to go to a meeting as if I still was a part of the group or something. Interested because I wondered what had happened to the group. Did it fall apart? Did it keep going? How was everyone?

The meeting was very far away from me. An hour and a half or two hours. That was quite a drive because I had an old junk car. The meeting was going to be in the evening, I suppose after everyone had finished with work.

The meeting was at a house that I found out was being rented by George and I think Steve. It was surprising to me that they were roommates because I did not think that they were that close. The house was old and huge. I really liked it from the moment I saw it. It was a farm kind of house so it had lots of land around it and a folksy kind of feel to it.

I pulled up and I think Steve came out to meet me. Jeff was there as was Lonnie. I asked where George was and Steve said he was in Europe on a business trip. I mentioned how I thought that sounded important and asked if George had been moving up in the world. I don't recall the answer. If it was just a regular kind of trip that George made for his job or if it was something new and special.

I was given a tour of the outside of the house. I think that George's son showed up around this time and accompanied us on the tour. He had just returned from school.

All this time I was feeling some trepidation because Dr G was already at the house. His car was in the parking lot when I arrived and the other men had mentioned that he was inside. We finished the tour of the house, which really was a fantastic house, and went inside.

What happened inside the house literally blew my mind.

We all walked into the house through the kitchen and into the living room. Dr G was sitting in a semi reclining type chair with his right leg extended out in front of him. He had taken his show off and his foot was bare.

Sitting at his feet and massaging his foot was George's wife.

I was so shocked I literally jerked in place. Not the kind of shock where you think you disapprove of something and you act shocked. This was the kind of shock like you were in a department store and you turned around and there was someone naked there. There is no way a naked person should be in a department store.

I could not believe my eyes. George was in Europe, and Dr G was in George's house, in George's living room, sitting in George's chair, and George's wife was massaging Dr G's bare foot. I am sitting here stunned just thinking about it again.

It was much worse than you think though, if you do not understand what was going on. George's wife was not just massaging Dr G's foot. George's wife was massaging Dr G's penis.

I DO NOT mean she was literally massaging his penis. Her hands were only on Dr G's foot. What I mean is that because of the way the human body is constructed, when a man is sexually excited, one of his legs will extend forward. That leg has a sexual kind of sensitivity. It is almost like the extended leg is playing the part of an erect penis. Instead of the penis becoming erect and sticking out, the leg will become erect and stick out.

So massaging a man's leg when it is sticking straight out like that, produces sensations similar to the one's the man would feel if his penis was actually being stimulated. Massaging a man's sexually excited extended leg sexually stimulates the man.

George's wife was sitting right there in the living room, sexually stimulating Dr G by massaging his bare right foot at the end of his extended right leg, and neither one of them acted like they had a care in the world. They acted like it was the most normal thing in the world for another man's wife to be massaging Dr G's bare foot in front of all of us.

There was no way any of them could have missed my reaction. I literally froze up and stumbled when I saw the two of them. I had this feeling like I should turn and leave because I had walked in on a couple who were engaged in sex. My eyes closed briefly because I felt like I was intruding on a sex scene.

The idea that Dr G could allow that to happen, or that George's wife could be doing that, when apparently everyone knew that Dr G had adulterated with the wives of other men in the group, as well as having sex with unattached women in the women's group was something my brain refused to accept.

Dr G spent years talking to the group about dignity, loyalty and family. Talking about being an upright kung fu man, being proud, and making Ba Gua look good.

How could this man say all of those things, then adulterate with a man's wife, have sex with unattached women in the women's group, and then sit there in another man's living room with that man's wife sexually stimulating his bare foot?

Didn't he have any shame?

What was even worse was that not one of the other men reacted. Not Lonnie. Not Jeff. Not Steve. Not even little George, who I would have thought would have acted out or said something at the sight of his mother servicing some man other than his father. They all acted like George's wife sexually stimulating Mike's bare foot right there in front of us was not even happening.

We all walked by and back into another room where we were going to have the meeting. Mike was going to join us as soon as George's wife was finished sexually stimulating his foot.

Controlled

It has been awhile since the last entry here. The subject of this entry may have been touched on previously, or even completely described. I do not recall for certain. As this blog constitutes notes for a book, it matters not to me if their is duplication in the entries.

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Towards the end of my relationship with Dr G, Dr G announced that he was going to Arizona to set up a school or a society or something. He was planning on doing this in Sedona, Arizona. He missed a couple of classes for what he said were trips to Sedona for planning etc.

I cast doubt on the claims his absences from class were due to going to Sedona, because Dr G missed a lot of classes towards the end of my relationship. I think the reason for this was purposeful. As readers of previous entries of this blog may know, I felt that towards the end of my relationship with Dr G, Dr G had made a decision to purposefully destroy the group.

I believe that his many absences from class towards the end of our relationship, was an attempt to anger people in the group. They would feel they were paying a man for lessons, that the man never showed up to give. There were so many absences, that to suggest they were a test of the loyalty of people stretches credulity. What person, even a loyal one, would continue to pay money to an instructor that might not attend 3 out of 4 monthly classes?

At first the talk of Dr G going to Sedona was just talk. I thought. Then as time went by, the talk became more and more serious. It did not make any sense. Dr G had spent years telling everyone how this group of individuals was going to do this and that to "save the world". The group was a cohesive group that was dedicated to doing good. The group was based on integrity, loyalty and family style.

How could the leader of a group based on loyalty and family style, just leave the group and move to a completely different state, 1000's of miles away? Sounds crazy doesn't it? Or a con job.

Everybody played along of course. Everyone was accepting of Dr G's move and it was discussed in the open group of men and women, and it was discussed within the men's group alone.

At this time the class was taking place at a schoolgrounds. The schoolgrounds were quite large with a basketball court, a play area with recreational equipment and various benches and tables scattered about.

On this particular day is was sunny and beautiful. It frequently was which was one of the reasons for holding class there. The men's group had gathered around one of the tables for a discussion of the upcoming move.

Lonnie, Jeff, George, myself, Steve and possibly Dan or Tom were all there. Dr G was standing up so that he was talking down to us at the table. There was discussion of his move and what it would mean for the group.

The plan was that Dr G would go to Sedona to do whatever he was doing, while the group remained in Northern California and continued the "work" that was already going on. For me, what I heard in all of that talk was "I am leaving you here. I am telling you to do whatever it is that I think will make you feel comfortable with me leaving and you staying".

It is important to remember in this situation and all of these blog entries, that Dr G is a manipulator. He runs games on every single person he has contact with. That is one of the things that kung fu men do. It is about misdirection and keeping the upper hand.

Dr G had a close relationship with both Jeff and Lonnie. While George and Steve were not really kung fu men, they could also be counted on to play along with any game that Dr G put forward.

What this meant for me was that, every single word that was said that day at that table could all have been lies and manipulation. I had no way of knowing. My suspicions at that time were full fledged that Dr G was actively trying to get rid of people in the group. Anything that was said by anybody in the group, could be part of a game to push any other person in the group out.

Dr G talked about how he was going to Sedona and he was wondering who was going to go with him. See, Dr G acted like when he went to Sedona, he was not abandoning the group. He talked like any member of the group that wanted to go to Sedona was free to accompany him to continue training.

That was manipulation.

Dr G was making thousands of dollars a month from the group for at least 2 1/2 years. He was making thousands of dollars a month from private consultations with group members. He was making further thousands of dollars a month in his outside Chinese medicine and Psychology practice.

All of that money meant Dr G could travel to China, New Mexico, Arizona, or anyplace else he chose to go. Dr G was basically free to live the life of a rich jet setter. He could pick up from where he was and go to Sedona, knowing that he had hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank.

What about the group? Although many of the group members were upper class, we all paid him all that money, we all of course had jobs that made that money. What upper class person with a good job can just up and quit to move to Sedona, which is a small town in the middle of the desert with no job opportunities?

No one could. No one in the group could do that and Dr G knew that. That was all part of the game he was playing.

When Dr G asked who was going to Sedona with him, there was already one person that we knew about that was going with him. Dan was going to go to Sedona and help with setting things up. Of course if Dan went, that meant Dan's wife also was going to Sedona.

As Dr G was having sex with Dan's wife, it was pretty obvious that Dan and his wife did not care about their jobs or money. They only cared about keeping Dan's wife available for Dr G to have sex with.

Jeff was the first to say something I think. He said no he was not going to Arizona. Jeff was studying for his degree at UC Berkely, and he was still in training for Chinese medicine. He could not leave his studies.

Lonnie was doing his training for he chinese medicine degree so he could not go. Lonnie's wife also had a successful business. She would have had to give up her business to move to the middle of the desert with nothing for her to do.

Steve was not going to go because he also had job commitments, as did his wife. If Tom was there which I am not certain of, he would have no reason to go to Sedona. Tom was a millionaire that was only dabbling in the class. If he really wanted to, he could stay put where he was and fly to Sedona every weekend for class with Mike.

George could not go because he had a well paying job. George's wife also had a well paying job that would be foolish to leave. George also had children in a good school, and taking them to a small town in the middle of nowhere would have been bad for the children.

Then it was my turn. I knew I could not go. I was in college and my wife had a well paying job. But I wanted to go more than anything. After 2 1/2 years, I was still in poor health, and I still felt I was not learning what I wanted. I was still willing to go along with Dr G's game of "loyal people will be rewarded". I was willing to go to Sedona in the hopes that at some point Dr G would decide that he would treat my health problems, and he would really teach me Ba Gua.

I was sitting there and I was getting really angry. There were thoughts of unfairness and loss floating around in my mind. I got more disappointed and angry as the conversation went on. But in my head, I had hope. I honestly would consider quitting school to go to Sedona. My wife would stay her job while I went to try and get my health situation corrected and learn Ba Gua. I honestly was still thinking this right up until the last minute.

Then it was my turn to speak. I said no I could not go in the most disappointed and forced tone you can imagine. There was no doubt in anyone's mind I was bitter about having to stay and not being able to go to Sedona.

That decision really bothered me for a very long time. The resentment and unfairness of it stayed with me. I felt that all I wanted was to be in good health, and the world was conspiring against me to keep me weak and ill.

The story would seem to end at this point. Dr G asked us who was going to Sedona with him, and except for the cuckolded Dan, no one was going to Sedona. What more is there to say.

Oh. There is plenty more to say. Remember the title of the blog post? It says "controlled".
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The reason I was so angry, so disappinted, so bitter about the decision that I could not go to Sedona was because Dr G was controlling me. He was making certain that the words that came out of my mouth were "No I am not going to Sedona. I am staying here"

I don't know if I can put into words how wrong that is. A man who talks about integrity and morality, forcibly controls one of his students to make that student say something the student does not want to say.

To me that is evil. If that is not evil, I don't know what is.

How do I know Dr G was controlling me? The signs of course. Any human being who is being controlled by another human being will almost always experience and exhibit signs of that control.

I am very sensitive to being controlled. When someone tries to control me I get very very angry. I never knew why before because I did not have the words and concepts to understand what was happening. I only knew that with certain people and certain situations, I would become extremely angry for no good reason at all. The anger was all out of proportion to what was being said or what was happening.

For the curious reader, that is one of the signs of someone controlling you. If you feel you are doing something you would not normally do, and you feel like your body or your mind is fighting something, they really are. Someone is trying to control you against your will, and your body is instinctively putting up defenses.

A controlling person usually cannot control an angry person. The reason that Dr G successfully controlled me was because he was a 15 year kung fu man with very strong abilities.

Another sign of someone trying to control you against your will, is that your head will drop downwards, and/or your shoulders will go upwards. If you are talking to anybody, and you notice that for no reason at all your head begins to go down, or you find yourself staring at the ground, the person is probably controlling you.

Be cautious. If you are lazy, not thinking, stretching or many other things, your head will drop naturally. If you are talking to someone though, and you felt fine 5 minutes ago, you were full of energy and alert, and now, when you are talking to this person, you are so tired your head is drooping, they are probably controlling you.

A further sign of being controlled is that your mind will go blank or fuzzy. If you are talking to someone and you realize that you cannot remember what was said for the past 10 minutes, you were almost definitely controlled. If you find it very hard to concentrate on what is being said, and you felt fine a minute ago, you are probably being controlled.
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I personally feel it is completely wrong to control another human being. I cannot think of anything more wrong that forcing another person against their will to say something they would not say, to do something they would not do, to give you money they would not give you, to give you property they would not give you, to make you have sex with them when you would never have sex with them otherwise, or just to have fun with people by making them do embarrassing things.

Controlling other people is evil to me.

Dr G would tell you that controlling other people is the sign of a high level kung fu man. It is. Dr G would tell you that the superior man can go far by controlling others. They can. Dr G would justify controlling other human beings in a myriad of ways, because that is how he got rich, and that is why he has his choice of women for sex, including the wives of his students, and that is why he can beat any man he chooses.

You see. High level kung fu men do not punch and kick each other. High level kung fu men control each other. Whoever's power of control is greater, that is who wins.

How can you fight when you do not control your own body?

Lying Manipulators Part 2

Here we go again. It is 2-8-08 and the last entry was 6-07. Someone is really not happy. ;)
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The last entry stopped where I described how Jeff was horrified that I had attended the Ba Gua meeting that was supposed to be a recruiting meeting for Ba Gua class. The entire group hoped I wouldn't attend, and they mentally manipulated me to try to stop me from attending.

I wanted Ba Gua so bad that I pushed aside their mental manipulation and attended the meeting anyways. The last blog entry ended with the Ba Gua group and the 3 new people so far finishing up with exercising. Then Jeff telling me he was ecstatic at seeing me at the meeting.

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After the exercises, everyone milled around as you might expect. Greetings were exchanged, comments about the beauty of the house and it's settings were made. Everyone inspected what had been brought for the pot luck and sampled some of what was there. It was some cooling off time after the exercises, and before the actual meeting started.

Some people wandered outside to look around. There were tours of the rooms of the house and more commenting on how beautiful it was. I recall sitting in a window seat for some time watching people. The window seat was one of the seats built right next to and under a window. The overgrowth outside had come up very close to the house and was growing wild. Sitting in the window seat made you feel like you were outside with nature, but you were still warm and protected inside of the house.

After some time had passed, it was decided no one else was going to arrive. Questions were asked about whether or not anyone was expecting more people. You have to put yourself in the mind of Jeff or Lonnie or the other Ba Gua guys making a big deal out of this meeting, to really understand the dynamics of it.

The plan had been to invite 4 or 5 people each. With all of the members of the Ba Gua men's group inviting 4 or 5 people, there would have been around 35 new people. That would have been a large crowd to deal with. I am certain it made Jeff or whoever nervous to think about dealing with a large crowd of people like that.

So here we are. We have finished exercising. We have introduced ourselves. We have inspected the house and the grounds.

And there are 3 new people there. Let me repeat that. For this huge momentous meeting to get new blood, something that Mike had pushed everyone into, there were 3 people there. 3 people to join the fantastic and world changing Ba Gua class of Mike.

I can tell you for a fact that those people were shamed. I am guessing the 3 people that did show up were also expecting a large crowd. I would guess they were told everyone was going to a big meeting to think about joining Ba Gua class. Then they get there, and here are 6 guys from the Ba Gua class, and the 3 of them.

How would you feel? What would you think? If I was one of those 3 men, I would have felt tricked. I would have felt lied to. I would have looked at the 6 people of the Ba Gua class, made my judgements on them, looked at myself and the 2 other new people, and concluded this was all some kind of joke. These Ba Gua people must be liars and losers.

When it is apparent no one else is coming, we all sit down to talk. Jeff gives a beginning kind of speech. I think each of us might have said something about why we joined Ba Gua and what it meant to us. Jeff talked about how Mike was the actual Ba Gua instructor, and how good an instructor he was. Jeff and all of us talked about how we were impressed by Mike.

One of the new people was brought by Daniel. The man whose wife Mike was adulterating with. That is a very important fact to keep in mind. It is not a salacious statement.

The new people were at some point invited to ask some questions or make some statements of their own. The man that Dan brought with him starts to speak and his first question is a bombshell.

The man looks right at Jeff and says "Are you Mike?". Jeff laughs nervously and says no. Then we all start laughing nervously. If you are perceptive, you know why we were laughing nervously.

By asking Jeff if he was Mike, this new man who was a guest in the house was really asking "Are you a liar? Are you really this Mike character you are inventing, and not Jeff?"

The mesage was loud and clear. The man that Dan brough thought something strange was going on, and he was asking questions about it. In a way, it was almost like Dan had brought his dad, and his dad was checking up on the group Dan was involved in.

It makes perfect sense when you know that Mike was having sex with Dan's wife.

Jeff then says "That was very good! I never thought of that! That would be a good one!". Jeff was shocked. He really was. For a chinese guy who never talked and always hid his emotions, he was really shocked.

Then Dan's friend goes on with more questions in the same kind of manner. Accusatory questions. Unfriendly questions. Testing questions. The questions were so aggressive and so impolite, that I eventually challenged him on it. I said something to the effect that I did not like his tone or what he was saying.

Of course everyone else immediately put me down. They were representing Ba Gua as a happy place to come and join. With me growling at this man implying nasty things about the Ba Gua group, it looked bad for the group as a whole.

This friend of Dan's had such an agenda, that the other two new people didn't even really talk. They were more young men, uncertain of themselves, who might have been bamboozled into joining the Ba Gua Group. Dan's friend was a man who knew exactly what he thought and exactly what he wanted.

The other two new guys basically watched Dan's friend quiz Jeff and the group about their relationships with Dan, and Dan's participation in the group.

It wasn't until a year or two later when I learned that Mike was having sex with Dan's wife, that I realized why the man was so harsh. That man must have been able to see from the relationship between Dan and his wife, that Dan's wife was having an affair. Dan's friend must have suspected the affair had something to do with the Ba Gua group he was in, since Dan's wife was alone with Mike everytime the women's class met.

I am convinced that the only reason Dan's friend attended the meeting, was to try and put the Ba Gua group on the spot, in order to help Dan see what he had gotten himself into. Maybe if Dan's friend was hard with the group, Dan's friend might either trick the group, or make them emotional enough to say something to wake Dan up to what was going on.

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After all of that of course, the meeting ended. When you have a meeting expecting to answer questions of people who want to join you, you feel powerful. They are coming to you to ask you for something.

When you get an interrogation by a man who clearly thinks that you are underhanded, untrustworthy and possible liars, the way life works, your energy crashes to the ground.

The meeting broke up, there was a lot of muttering and some half hearted food tasting, then everyone left. I am not kidding. It was that bad. Knowing that Dan's friend thought that all of us were liars and taking advantage of Dan, and as polite hosts we were supposed to smile in this man's face and act comfortable was not possible.

Don't get me wrong. No one was rude to the man. No one really got mad or upset. There were some commments along the line of "Can you believe he said that? Can you believe he thought that?". But mostly it was a lot of inward soul searching. A bunch of men with their heads down, wondering internally why Dan's friend thought they were bad people.

Needless to say, neither Dan's friend, or the other two men joined the Ba Gua group as a result of that meeting. It would be accurate to say the meeting was a spectacular failure.

I kind of wonder if maybe that was the beginning of the end of the Ba Gua group. Mike had pushed for new members, so he obviously wanted new people. He put us in charge of getting new people.

We were so pathetic we could only invite 3 people to listen to us, and of those 3, one of them was a hostile adversary who thought we were taking advantage of his friend Dan.

And Mike was taking advantage of his friend Dan. Dan's wife was a small, petite, child like looking woman who was attractive. Out of all of the women in the women's group, she was the prettiest.

It makes all the sense in the world that Mike chose her for sex. And being a Tai Chi master and a Ba Gua master, he could have sex with her so good that she would not leave until he told her to.

The one thing I always wondered was:

Did Dan's wife voluntarily have an affair with Mike? She was impressed with his authority, his money, or his physical strength, and she wanted it between her legs?

Or was she a loving, devoted and loyal wife to Dan, and Mike had to use his mental manipulation abilities to make her participate in an affair?

Lying manipulators

Wow. Last post is 6-6-07. Looks like Mike is not happy huh? ;)

I related in previous posts about how I had been accepted as a Ba Gua student by Mike. I then talked about how now, years later, I realized that Mike wanted me to leave almost right after I joined. Mike could not ask me to leave directly, because he would look very bad. Mike was a doctor and a kung fu instructor. He had accepted me as a patient and as a student. How would it look if he asked me to go away?

Instead, Mike played tricks and games, and outright tried to possess me to make me leave. Mike had another student bring one of his friend to class as a new student. That friend then left a month later. The whole thing was rigged to make a point to me. A student could join, and leave right away. Mike hoped to possess me and make me leave after this scenario was played out in front of me. I wouldn't have it. I had health problems I knew without a doubt Mike could cure, if he chose to. I knew without a doubt that Ba Gua was a superior style of kung fu, and that Mike was a superior kind of kung fu man. There was no way I would ever voluntarily leave.

I have to laugh everytime I look back at these events. Mike trying to get me to leave over the years, and me refusing to leave. Part of the blame lies with Mike himself. When I joined, Mike told stories about how the dedicated kung fu man would persevere through anything. Mike talked about how the old kung fu teachers would test their students to determine their desire for kung fu. I ate all of this up and took all of it to heart. When Mike was rude to me or ignored me or neglected my kung fu instruction, I thought it was all part of a test to see if I really wanted Ba Gua.

When Mike tried to get rid of me, I thought every single instance was him testing me. I thought he was pushing me really hard, to see if I was a fly by night kind of person who only wanted kung fu for fun. If I was, when Mike pushed me, I would go away. It didn't work because I wanted to be healthy, and I wanted to learn Ba Gua, more than anything in the world.

That brings us up to the topic for today. This is another one of those posts that is chronologically out of order. I will have to organize all of this for the book later. ;(
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There had been very few new students over the 3 years I was there. Maybe 4 or 5. At some point I think Mike felt that new blood was needed. Everyone knew each other, and we were all stagnating. Something needed to be shaken up, and I wonder if Mike thought new blood would be the way to do it.

Like everything having to do with Mike, big plans were made. Serious discussion were held. It was decided there would be a big meeting were everyone would invite someone they felt would be a worthwhile admission to the group. Big as in thinking everyone might invite 4 or 5 people. That would be Steve, Jeff, George, Dan, Me, Lonnie, and Tom inviting 4 or 5 people which would make 35 or so people. A big gathering.

Tom volunteered the use of a vacation home he had that was close by. This sounded like a good idea to everyone so that was agreed upon. The meeting was going to be held on a weekend when everyone would be able to spend the hours required to meet new people and assess them as possible candidates for the group. It was also agreed people would bring some kind of food along. A pot luck kind of situation.

I was hesitant about the meeting. My health problems made it difficult for me to meet new people. I am an extremely perceptive person. Almost all people when they are talking, say one thing while they are thinking another. I can usually see what it is that people are thinking. It is very hard for me to deal with people, because they usually don't think the same things they are saying. I find myself thinking "Why are you telling me verbal lies? I can see your thoughts and your words do not match your thoughts at all". It is very hard for me to smile and be friendly to liars.

Everyone in the group was aware of my reticence. Maybe Mike or one of them brought it up, because it seems like there was some debate about me attending. Funny huh? I am a fellow student, I have been there 3 years, and they are debating whether I should go to this momentous meeting where new students will be judged and possibly brought into the group. I would have no say in any of this if I did not attend.

Everyone was going to drive themselves. I mention this because we all did a lot of carpooling. Lonnie, James and I all lived relatively close together, so we carpooled to many get togethers. No one was carpooling out to Tom's vacation house. This is relevant because it put a burden on me. I had an old beatup untrustworthy car, which was why I carpooled. There was a strong chance that I might not go to the meeting because I did not trust my car, or that the car would actually die on the 30 or 35 mile trip out to Tom's vacation home.

It wasn't until later that I realized that was the plan. To deny me certain transportation, and hope my transportation would break down.

The day of the meeting came and I was nervous. Meeting new people, judging them and assessing them as new students. It found myself wondering if I should go. Then I found myself wondering "What! did I just think?" I lived for Ba Gua. Where were thoughts of "should I go to the momentus Ba Gua meeting", coming from?

I spent some time wandering the house wondering if I should go or not. If you have ever had a car break down, you know why I was hesitant. The thought of being stranded 30 miles from home with a broken down car, on a day I was supposed to be participating in a momentous meeting for Ba Gua was awful. I paced back and forth wondering if I should go.

But my heart new exactly what it wanted. After pacing back and forth and wondering, I grabbed the keys and headed out to the junk car. I was a Ba Gua man, and I was not going to let a junk car prevent me from attending an important meeting with my Ba Gua classmates, and I was not going to let my instructor Mike down by not attending the meeting.

By the time all of this had taken place, I was late. The junk car was slow as well as junk, and the road out to the vacation home was a windy twisting country road. The big junker station wagon chugging out to the vacation house around those curving country roads was a trial all in itself. Wondering if the car would stay together or the engine would die. Wondering if I was going to make the meeting on time or not. Wondering if I had the directions right. I was really on edge.

Then, there it was. The vacation house. It wasn't a vacation house, it was a house in it's own right. It was so beautiful it is hard to describe. The house was located out in the woods. The woods had been allowed to grow so the house seemed surrounded and covered by the greenery. There was a relatively large gravel or dirt parking area. I knew I was at the right spot because I recognized some of the cars. Boy was I relieved. I found the house, the junk car made it, and I was only a few minutes late.

There was something kind of odd though. I only noticed enough cars for the Ba Gua class, and a few others. I expected a parking lot because everyone was supposed to be bringing 4 or 5 people.

I walked into the house and it was just as beautiful as the outside. It had this incredible feeling of peacefulness. There was an area where everyone had dropped their coats and stuff, but no one was around. The meeting had already started. Oh no!

I think Tom must have been greeting people, because I went back into the house into another room. Everyone was in the room performing the warm up exercises. I walked in and everyone might have nodded acknowledgement at me. Everyone stayed quiet and continued with the exercises.

That is when another bit of weirdness hit me. There was maybe three new people in the room. There was the Ba Gua class, and three strangers. Where were the 35 people that were supposed to come? I thought to myself they must be late. It was a long drive and sort of hard to find the house.

We all complete the warm up exercises, and move back into the house. Pleasantries are exchanged among everyone. I said something about how I was sorry I was late and the junk car. Then something happened that I remember as if it was yesterday.

Jeff looked at me and said "I was so glad when I say you walk in. I was like "Yeah, jalon is here!".

My alarm bells went off on full volume. Jeff didn't talk much. He was a serious kind of chinese guy who didn't say much. Jeff was hardly ever happy about anything. He may be acting like he was happy, but it was an act that doctors are trained to put on.

What the heck was going on with Jeff telling me he was glad to see me? So glad he had a big white guy smile on his face? So glad he looked like he wanted to jump at me and hug me?

I couldn't figure it out. It made no sense to me at the time. I wrote it off to nervousness. Jeff was in charge of the meeting. Mike was not going to attend because it was supposed to be about the men's group gaining new members. It was not supposed to be about Mike taking on new students.

It wasn't until years later, like most of the other things in this blog, that I understood what was going on.

My hesitancy at attending the meeting? That was Jeff or Mike. Jeff or Mike were mentally controlling me to stop me from attending the meeting. They really didn't want me to attend, because they really did think I was some kind of embarrassment. They really thought I would put a bad face on the Ba Gua group, which would have some kind of negative impact on the prospective new members.

The only reason I could beat their mental control and attend the meeting, was because I wanted it in my heart. I wanted more than anything in the world to learn Ba Gua, to become a strong Ba Gua man, and to be a part of the Ba Gua group. No matter how much they tried to control my mind, they could not control my heart.

The thing that bothered me about Jeff saying he was glad to see me? Jeff was lying. That was how a kung fu man covers up their true thoughts and actions.

Jeff was not happy I was there. I am guessing they all must have talked among themselves about how I would be a bad influence on the prospective students. When Jeff saw me, he felt unhappy. So, as a kung fu man, he did the exact opposite of what he felt. He told me he was happy to see me. He was giddy with joy at the fact that I had made it to the meeting.

Jeff was lying to my face. I had been in class for 3 years, Jeff and the others thought I was an embarrassment, and Jeff was lying to my face. You can't imagine the feeling of betrayal writing those words generates. My stomach is sinking right this instant. I idolized and trusted those men. And to think they had those feeling about me, and would manipulate me without a thought, is awful.

Mike was always talking about dignity, integrity and honor. Where is the honor in using your ability to manipulate the minds of others, to try to make a student who feels loyalty to you stay away? Where is the dignity in taking advantage of those weaker than you? Where is the integrity of lying to someones face about how glad you are to see them, when you are really thinking you cannot think of a worse disaster that could have happened?

How can they call themselves moral? Or say they aspire to higher morality than "common people". They are liars and manipulators just like those "common people" they think they are better than.

I am so devastated at thinking about how I trusted Jeff and thought he was a good guy, and looking his betrayal in the face by writing it down now, that the rest of this incident will be dealt with in future blog entries.

If you are a kung fu man, you want to take one thing with you from this post. If you find yourself thinking something that is not you, it probably isn't. It is probably your kung fu instructor, or one of your kung fu classmates, who is walking around in your mind thinking for you.