Monday, February 25, 2008

Lying Manipulators Part 2

Here we go again. It is 2-8-08 and the last entry was 6-07. Someone is really not happy. ;)

The last entry stopped where I described how Jeff was horrified that I had attended the Ba Gua meeting that was supposed to be a recruiting meeting for Ba Gua class. The entire group hoped I wouldn't attend, and they mentally manipulated me to try to stop me from attending.

I wanted Ba Gua so bad that I pushed aside their mental manipulation and attended the meeting anyways. The last blog entry ended with the Ba Gua group and the 3 new people so far finishing up with exercising. Then Jeff telling me he was ecstatic at seeing me at the meeting.


After the exercises, everyone milled around as you might expect. Greetings were exchanged, comments about the beauty of the house and it's settings were made. Everyone inspected what had been brought for the pot luck and sampled some of what was there. It was some cooling off time after the exercises, and before the actual meeting started.

Some people wandered outside to look around. There were tours of the rooms of the house and more commenting on how beautiful it was. I recall sitting in a window seat for some time watching people. The window seat was one of the seats built right next to and under a window. The overgrowth outside had come up very close to the house and was growing wild. Sitting in the window seat made you feel like you were outside with nature, but you were still warm and protected inside of the house.

After some time had passed, it was decided no one else was going to arrive. Questions were asked about whether or not anyone was expecting more people. You have to put yourself in the mind of Jeff or Lonnie or the other Ba Gua guys making a big deal out of this meeting, to really understand the dynamics of it.

The plan had been to invite 4 or 5 people each. With all of the members of the Ba Gua men's group inviting 4 or 5 people, there would have been around 35 new people. That would have been a large crowd to deal with. I am certain it made Jeff or whoever nervous to think about dealing with a large crowd of people like that.

So here we are. We have finished exercising. We have introduced ourselves. We have inspected the house and the grounds.

And there are 3 new people there. Let me repeat that. For this huge momentous meeting to get new blood, something that Mike had pushed everyone into, there were 3 people there. 3 people to join the fantastic and world changing Ba Gua class of Mike.

I can tell you for a fact that those people were shamed. I am guessing the 3 people that did show up were also expecting a large crowd. I would guess they were told everyone was going to a big meeting to think about joining Ba Gua class. Then they get there, and here are 6 guys from the Ba Gua class, and the 3 of them.

How would you feel? What would you think? If I was one of those 3 men, I would have felt tricked. I would have felt lied to. I would have looked at the 6 people of the Ba Gua class, made my judgements on them, looked at myself and the 2 other new people, and concluded this was all some kind of joke. These Ba Gua people must be liars and losers.

When it is apparent no one else is coming, we all sit down to talk. Jeff gives a beginning kind of speech. I think each of us might have said something about why we joined Ba Gua and what it meant to us. Jeff talked about how Mike was the actual Ba Gua instructor, and how good an instructor he was. Jeff and all of us talked about how we were impressed by Mike.

One of the new people was brought by Daniel. The man whose wife Mike was adulterating with. That is a very important fact to keep in mind. It is not a salacious statement.

The new people were at some point invited to ask some questions or make some statements of their own. The man that Dan brought with him starts to speak and his first question is a bombshell.

The man looks right at Jeff and says "Are you Mike?". Jeff laughs nervously and says no. Then we all start laughing nervously. If you are perceptive, you know why we were laughing nervously.

By asking Jeff if he was Mike, this new man who was a guest in the house was really asking "Are you a liar? Are you really this Mike character you are inventing, and not Jeff?"

The mesage was loud and clear. The man that Dan brough thought something strange was going on, and he was asking questions about it. In a way, it was almost like Dan had brought his dad, and his dad was checking up on the group Dan was involved in.

It makes perfect sense when you know that Mike was having sex with Dan's wife.

Jeff then says "That was very good! I never thought of that! That would be a good one!". Jeff was shocked. He really was. For a chinese guy who never talked and always hid his emotions, he was really shocked.

Then Dan's friend goes on with more questions in the same kind of manner. Accusatory questions. Unfriendly questions. Testing questions. The questions were so aggressive and so impolite, that I eventually challenged him on it. I said something to the effect that I did not like his tone or what he was saying.

Of course everyone else immediately put me down. They were representing Ba Gua as a happy place to come and join. With me growling at this man implying nasty things about the Ba Gua group, it looked bad for the group as a whole.

This friend of Dan's had such an agenda, that the other two new people didn't even really talk. They were more young men, uncertain of themselves, who might have been bamboozled into joining the Ba Gua Group. Dan's friend was a man who knew exactly what he thought and exactly what he wanted.

The other two new guys basically watched Dan's friend quiz Jeff and the group about their relationships with Dan, and Dan's participation in the group.

It wasn't until a year or two later when I learned that Mike was having sex with Dan's wife, that I realized why the man was so harsh. That man must have been able to see from the relationship between Dan and his wife, that Dan's wife was having an affair. Dan's friend must have suspected the affair had something to do with the Ba Gua group he was in, since Dan's wife was alone with Mike everytime the women's class met.

I am convinced that the only reason Dan's friend attended the meeting, was to try and put the Ba Gua group on the spot, in order to help Dan see what he had gotten himself into. Maybe if Dan's friend was hard with the group, Dan's friend might either trick the group, or make them emotional enough to say something to wake Dan up to what was going on.


After all of that of course, the meeting ended. When you have a meeting expecting to answer questions of people who want to join you, you feel powerful. They are coming to you to ask you for something.

When you get an interrogation by a man who clearly thinks that you are underhanded, untrustworthy and possible liars, the way life works, your energy crashes to the ground.

The meeting broke up, there was a lot of muttering and some half hearted food tasting, then everyone left. I am not kidding. It was that bad. Knowing that Dan's friend thought that all of us were liars and taking advantage of Dan, and as polite hosts we were supposed to smile in this man's face and act comfortable was not possible.

Don't get me wrong. No one was rude to the man. No one really got mad or upset. There were some commments along the line of "Can you believe he said that? Can you believe he thought that?". But mostly it was a lot of inward soul searching. A bunch of men with their heads down, wondering internally why Dan's friend thought they were bad people.

Needless to say, neither Dan's friend, or the other two men joined the Ba Gua group as a result of that meeting. It would be accurate to say the meeting was a spectacular failure.

I kind of wonder if maybe that was the beginning of the end of the Ba Gua group. Mike had pushed for new members, so he obviously wanted new people. He put us in charge of getting new people.

We were so pathetic we could only invite 3 people to listen to us, and of those 3, one of them was a hostile adversary who thought we were taking advantage of his friend Dan.

And Mike was taking advantage of his friend Dan. Dan's wife was a small, petite, child like looking woman who was attractive. Out of all of the women in the women's group, she was the prettiest.

It makes all the sense in the world that Mike chose her for sex. And being a Tai Chi master and a Ba Gua master, he could have sex with her so good that she would not leave until he told her to.

The one thing I always wondered was:

Did Dan's wife voluntarily have an affair with Mike? She was impressed with his authority, his money, or his physical strength, and she wanted it between her legs?

Or was she a loving, devoted and loyal wife to Dan, and Mike had to use his mental manipulation abilities to make her participate in an affair?