Tuesday, June 17, 2008


It has been awhile since the last entry here. The subject of this entry may have been touched on previously, or even completely described. I do not recall for certain. As this blog constitutes notes for a book, it matters not to me if their is duplication in the entries.


Towards the end of my relationship with Dr G, Dr G announced that he was going to Arizona to set up a school or a society or something. He was planning on doing this in Sedona, Arizona. He missed a couple of classes for what he said were trips to Sedona for planning etc.

I cast doubt on the claims his absences from class were due to going to Sedona, because Dr G missed a lot of classes towards the end of my relationship. I think the reason for this was purposeful. As readers of previous entries of this blog may know, I felt that towards the end of my relationship with Dr G, Dr G had made a decision to purposefully destroy the group.

I believe that his many absences from class towards the end of our relationship, was an attempt to anger people in the group. They would feel they were paying a man for lessons, that the man never showed up to give. There were so many absences, that to suggest they were a test of the loyalty of people stretches credulity. What person, even a loyal one, would continue to pay money to an instructor that might not attend 3 out of 4 monthly classes?

At first the talk of Dr G going to Sedona was just talk. I thought. Then as time went by, the talk became more and more serious. It did not make any sense. Dr G had spent years telling everyone how this group of individuals was going to do this and that to "save the world". The group was a cohesive group that was dedicated to doing good. The group was based on integrity, loyalty and family style.

How could the leader of a group based on loyalty and family style, just leave the group and move to a completely different state, 1000's of miles away? Sounds crazy doesn't it? Or a con job.

Everybody played along of course. Everyone was accepting of Dr G's move and it was discussed in the open group of men and women, and it was discussed within the men's group alone.

At this time the class was taking place at a schoolgrounds. The schoolgrounds were quite large with a basketball court, a play area with recreational equipment and various benches and tables scattered about.

On this particular day is was sunny and beautiful. It frequently was which was one of the reasons for holding class there. The men's group had gathered around one of the tables for a discussion of the upcoming move.

Lonnie, Jeff, George, myself, Steve and possibly Dan or Tom were all there. Dr G was standing up so that he was talking down to us at the table. There was discussion of his move and what it would mean for the group.

The plan was that Dr G would go to Sedona to do whatever he was doing, while the group remained in Northern California and continued the "work" that was already going on. For me, what I heard in all of that talk was "I am leaving you here. I am telling you to do whatever it is that I think will make you feel comfortable with me leaving and you staying".

It is important to remember in this situation and all of these blog entries, that Dr G is a manipulator. He runs games on every single person he has contact with. That is one of the things that kung fu men do. It is about misdirection and keeping the upper hand.

Dr G had a close relationship with both Jeff and Lonnie. While George and Steve were not really kung fu men, they could also be counted on to play along with any game that Dr G put forward.

What this meant for me was that, every single word that was said that day at that table could all have been lies and manipulation. I had no way of knowing. My suspicions at that time were full fledged that Dr G was actively trying to get rid of people in the group. Anything that was said by anybody in the group, could be part of a game to push any other person in the group out.

Dr G talked about how he was going to Sedona and he was wondering who was going to go with him. See, Dr G acted like when he went to Sedona, he was not abandoning the group. He talked like any member of the group that wanted to go to Sedona was free to accompany him to continue training.

That was manipulation.

Dr G was making thousands of dollars a month from the group for at least 2 1/2 years. He was making thousands of dollars a month from private consultations with group members. He was making further thousands of dollars a month in his outside Chinese medicine and Psychology practice.

All of that money meant Dr G could travel to China, New Mexico, Arizona, or anyplace else he chose to go. Dr G was basically free to live the life of a rich jet setter. He could pick up from where he was and go to Sedona, knowing that he had hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank.

What about the group? Although many of the group members were upper class, we all paid him all that money, we all of course had jobs that made that money. What upper class person with a good job can just up and quit to move to Sedona, which is a small town in the middle of the desert with no job opportunities?

No one could. No one in the group could do that and Dr G knew that. That was all part of the game he was playing.

When Dr G asked who was going to Sedona with him, there was already one person that we knew about that was going with him. Dan was going to go to Sedona and help with setting things up. Of course if Dan went, that meant Dan's wife also was going to Sedona.

As Dr G was having sex with Dan's wife, it was pretty obvious that Dan and his wife did not care about their jobs or money. They only cared about keeping Dan's wife available for Dr G to have sex with.

Jeff was the first to say something I think. He said no he was not going to Arizona. Jeff was studying for his degree at UC Berkely, and he was still in training for Chinese medicine. He could not leave his studies.

Lonnie was doing his training for he chinese medicine degree so he could not go. Lonnie's wife also had a successful business. She would have had to give up her business to move to the middle of the desert with nothing for her to do.

Steve was not going to go because he also had job commitments, as did his wife. If Tom was there which I am not certain of, he would have no reason to go to Sedona. Tom was a millionaire that was only dabbling in the class. If he really wanted to, he could stay put where he was and fly to Sedona every weekend for class with Mike.

George could not go because he had a well paying job. George's wife also had a well paying job that would be foolish to leave. George also had children in a good school, and taking them to a small town in the middle of nowhere would have been bad for the children.

Then it was my turn. I knew I could not go. I was in college and my wife had a well paying job. But I wanted to go more than anything. After 2 1/2 years, I was still in poor health, and I still felt I was not learning what I wanted. I was still willing to go along with Dr G's game of "loyal people will be rewarded". I was willing to go to Sedona in the hopes that at some point Dr G would decide that he would treat my health problems, and he would really teach me Ba Gua.

I was sitting there and I was getting really angry. There were thoughts of unfairness and loss floating around in my mind. I got more disappointed and angry as the conversation went on. But in my head, I had hope. I honestly would consider quitting school to go to Sedona. My wife would stay her job while I went to try and get my health situation corrected and learn Ba Gua. I honestly was still thinking this right up until the last minute.

Then it was my turn to speak. I said no I could not go in the most disappointed and forced tone you can imagine. There was no doubt in anyone's mind I was bitter about having to stay and not being able to go to Sedona.

That decision really bothered me for a very long time. The resentment and unfairness of it stayed with me. I felt that all I wanted was to be in good health, and the world was conspiring against me to keep me weak and ill.

The story would seem to end at this point. Dr G asked us who was going to Sedona with him, and except for the cuckolded Dan, no one was going to Sedona. What more is there to say.

Oh. There is plenty more to say. Remember the title of the blog post? It says "controlled".

The reason I was so angry, so disappinted, so bitter about the decision that I could not go to Sedona was because Dr G was controlling me. He was making certain that the words that came out of my mouth were "No I am not going to Sedona. I am staying here"

I don't know if I can put into words how wrong that is. A man who talks about integrity and morality, forcibly controls one of his students to make that student say something the student does not want to say.

To me that is evil. If that is not evil, I don't know what is.

How do I know Dr G was controlling me? The signs of course. Any human being who is being controlled by another human being will almost always experience and exhibit signs of that control.

I am very sensitive to being controlled. When someone tries to control me I get very very angry. I never knew why before because I did not have the words and concepts to understand what was happening. I only knew that with certain people and certain situations, I would become extremely angry for no good reason at all. The anger was all out of proportion to what was being said or what was happening.

For the curious reader, that is one of the signs of someone controlling you. If you feel you are doing something you would not normally do, and you feel like your body or your mind is fighting something, they really are. Someone is trying to control you against your will, and your body is instinctively putting up defenses.

A controlling person usually cannot control an angry person. The reason that Dr G successfully controlled me was because he was a 15 year kung fu man with very strong abilities.

Another sign of someone trying to control you against your will, is that your head will drop downwards, and/or your shoulders will go upwards. If you are talking to anybody, and you notice that for no reason at all your head begins to go down, or you find yourself staring at the ground, the person is probably controlling you.

Be cautious. If you are lazy, not thinking, stretching or many other things, your head will drop naturally. If you are talking to someone though, and you felt fine 5 minutes ago, you were full of energy and alert, and now, when you are talking to this person, you are so tired your head is drooping, they are probably controlling you.

A further sign of being controlled is that your mind will go blank or fuzzy. If you are talking to someone and you realize that you cannot remember what was said for the past 10 minutes, you were almost definitely controlled. If you find it very hard to concentrate on what is being said, and you felt fine a minute ago, you are probably being controlled.

I personally feel it is completely wrong to control another human being. I cannot think of anything more wrong that forcing another person against their will to say something they would not say, to do something they would not do, to give you money they would not give you, to give you property they would not give you, to make you have sex with them when you would never have sex with them otherwise, or just to have fun with people by making them do embarrassing things.

Controlling other people is evil to me.

Dr G would tell you that controlling other people is the sign of a high level kung fu man. It is. Dr G would tell you that the superior man can go far by controlling others. They can. Dr G would justify controlling other human beings in a myriad of ways, because that is how he got rich, and that is why he has his choice of women for sex, including the wives of his students, and that is why he can beat any man he chooses.

You see. High level kung fu men do not punch and kick each other. High level kung fu men control each other. Whoever's power of control is greater, that is who wins.

How can you fight when you do not control your own body?