Trouble Brewing
I want to emphasize that after a month or so, I had been slammed at a men's meeting, and I had been disappointed in Dr G. for forcing me to spar on my first day. Dr G. had noted that I was stiff, I apparently needed to be reminded repeatedly, I had a penchant for making faces and I was writing away while he spoke to us, apparently making him uncomfortable.
I did not recognize this, but the tide was turning. I had come into the class as an ill person who needed help. An acquaintance of a friend of Dr G's. My own attitude was one of desperation, hope and trust. After the incidents described above, I became reserved and untrusting. I can only guess that Dr G. felt I was not up to his standards as a student.
I know that at some point in time he mentioned to me that I might not be prepared for his class. I rejected this statement for a few reasons. I could not entertain any statment that might imply I would not have my health problems treated. Secondly, even if I was not very good at kung fu, I did have years of experience. As I said before, A, G, and T had absolutely no kung fu experience at all. There was no way I was going to feel guilty for not measuring up to some standard when 3 other students had no previous kung fu experience at all.
I began to notice that T's normal behavior was that of a cutup. It was obvious to me from the moment I met him that he did not really care for the kung fu. T was infatuated with Dr G. He came to the class mostly to be in Dr G's presence and to talk to him. T would not put any effort into his practice. We would have the group meeting with Dr G. speaking to us, then a seperate short meeting with the men only, then the kung fu. T was animated and interested in the talking. When it came time to practice, I would look over and see him standing there doing nothing, staring off into space.
A also did not seem dedicated or interested in the kung fu. A was not a cut up or a goof off. He did pay attention and he did practice. He did not stare off into space or look obviously bored or uninterested. A did not show any drive. A person that wants to learn kung fu always shows an honest drive to try and improve what they learn.
It was a problem in class that T, A and I were the new students. We would be put together to learn or practice something. T wanted to goof off. He wanted to joke and talk and laugh. A. was a sociable man and would also talk and make light. I was new and I wanted to fit in. I would do some share of talking and joking. I was a serious an driven person so eventually I would do my practice. I would walk away and leave T and A standing there talking.
This behavior was remarked upon by Dr G. and the other students. This bothered me because I did not want to be classed in with people who were not measuring up. When the other students were discussing the situation, there was no doubting the disapproval in their voices.
I should also mention that I did not talk directly to Dr G. very much. I had this notion in my head that the relationship between student and teacher was one where the student kept his mouth shut and did what the teacher said. I had learned at my previous kung fu school that speaking to the instructor for some reason always lead to trouble for me. If people do not talk, there is no reason for friction. The more people talk, the more chance there is for something to develop. Finally I was standing back from him because he put me up to spar that first day to test me.
This was a small thing in my opinion. There must have been 35 people in the group. I had been in many kung fu classes. Rarely did I ever speak directly to the instructor. It was always the higher students who did the interacting with the new students. From what was said later, I got the feeling Dr G. might have felt I was being standoffish or rude.
I did not recognize this, but the tide was turning. I had come into the class as an ill person who needed help. An acquaintance of a friend of Dr G's. My own attitude was one of desperation, hope and trust. After the incidents described above, I became reserved and untrusting. I can only guess that Dr G. felt I was not up to his standards as a student.
I know that at some point in time he mentioned to me that I might not be prepared for his class. I rejected this statement for a few reasons. I could not entertain any statment that might imply I would not have my health problems treated. Secondly, even if I was not very good at kung fu, I did have years of experience. As I said before, A, G, and T had absolutely no kung fu experience at all. There was no way I was going to feel guilty for not measuring up to some standard when 3 other students had no previous kung fu experience at all.
I began to notice that T's normal behavior was that of a cutup. It was obvious to me from the moment I met him that he did not really care for the kung fu. T was infatuated with Dr G. He came to the class mostly to be in Dr G's presence and to talk to him. T would not put any effort into his practice. We would have the group meeting with Dr G. speaking to us, then a seperate short meeting with the men only, then the kung fu. T was animated and interested in the talking. When it came time to practice, I would look over and see him standing there doing nothing, staring off into space.
A also did not seem dedicated or interested in the kung fu. A was not a cut up or a goof off. He did pay attention and he did practice. He did not stare off into space or look obviously bored or uninterested. A did not show any drive. A person that wants to learn kung fu always shows an honest drive to try and improve what they learn.
It was a problem in class that T, A and I were the new students. We would be put together to learn or practice something. T wanted to goof off. He wanted to joke and talk and laugh. A. was a sociable man and would also talk and make light. I was new and I wanted to fit in. I would do some share of talking and joking. I was a serious an driven person so eventually I would do my practice. I would walk away and leave T and A standing there talking.
This behavior was remarked upon by Dr G. and the other students. This bothered me because I did not want to be classed in with people who were not measuring up. When the other students were discussing the situation, there was no doubting the disapproval in their voices.
I should also mention that I did not talk directly to Dr G. very much. I had this notion in my head that the relationship between student and teacher was one where the student kept his mouth shut and did what the teacher said. I had learned at my previous kung fu school that speaking to the instructor for some reason always lead to trouble for me. If people do not talk, there is no reason for friction. The more people talk, the more chance there is for something to develop. Finally I was standing back from him because he put me up to spar that first day to test me.
This was a small thing in my opinion. There must have been 35 people in the group. I had been in many kung fu classes. Rarely did I ever speak directly to the instructor. It was always the higher students who did the interacting with the new students. From what was said later, I got the feeling Dr G. might have felt I was being standoffish or rude.
posted by Happeh at 11:47 PM
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