A chance meeting
After I had been accepted as part of the group there was the meeting at Dr G's house I mentioned. During the smalltalk that took place their, either I or someone else mentioned Taiko drumming. Taiko drumming is a type of drumming from Japan. There was a Taiko drum group in our city that was well known. Whoever mentioned it, me or the other man, we both realized we had a common interest. We talked a little about how much we enjoyed the performances and the music. I didn't really think anything of it.
I was interested in the Taiko drumming and wanted to talk about it to someone because the Taiko drum group I mentioned gave lessons. They had access to a large auditorium at a major mall. The classes were held at night and were open to anyone who could pay. The classes focused on the drumming rythyms. Instead of using real drums, upended trash cans were used. That sounds humourous but it worked out well.
When they held classes, everyone in the mall knew it. That might be how I discovered the classes. Walking thru the mall and following the noise. The mall was devoted to Asian style stores. A large Japanese book store, Japanese food court, Japanese video store, Japanese toy store, Japanese curio store. I would go to the book store because it was like a book store in Japan. Huge. With books about everything you could imagine. The Japanese are detail oriented people. All of their books have that attention to detail.
After I heard of the Taiko drum class, I had always wanted to join it. I had never actually gotten around to it. For some reason, I decided to go and attend a class at some time after the meeting at Dr G's house.
I went to the mall for the class, arriving a little early. They had a class for advanced people before the open class. The advanced people would stay over and help teach the beginner class. The beginner class was mostly a money maker to pay for trips for the skilled people.
I had a book with me to pass the time. I sat down on a planter out in front of the school and began reading. I ignore the outside world when I am reading. Suddenly I hear someone say "Hi!". I look up and it is the man from the meeting at Dr. G's. The one who I had talked to about Taiko music. He had shown up to take a lesson too.
I froze. Literally. The first thought in my head was "Darn. I am going to have to talk to him".
Doesn't that seem odd? I was going to join their group in the hopes that the instructor could help me with my health problems. Here is one of the men from the group, and I don't want to talk to him. It was the health problem. I had trouble dealing with people. I did not know it at the time but I had more trouble with people who possessed strong energy. The guy was a long time kung fu practioner. I did not know this at the time, but now I think my strong reaction must have been because he had strong energy. I instinctively pushed people like that away or shunned them because I was reminded of the man who had encouraged me to develop the health problems in the first place.
His name was Jeff. Jeff said something like "What are you reading?". I showed him the book and told him the title. I might have said something about the plot. Then I remember picking the book up and reading it again. Obviously and rudely ignoring the guy. Looking back on it, I was so rude it must have astonished him. He kind of sauntered away slowly like he had planned to do that all along. What else could he do as I was ignoring him?
The advanced class let out and the beginners class started to move in. I had never been there before so I got the payment process sorted out. They said they would loan out drum sticks to people for the class. I picked up a pair of those. We set up all the trashcans so the class would be ready.
After all the prelimanaries were taken care of, we were asked to move to the trashcans. The class size was so large that some people had to double or triple up. My unsociability directed me to the back of the room. I thought I would grab a trashcan back there while the more driven people would double up closer to the front of the room where the instructor was.
I am standing there trying to be cool. It was hard. I was surrounded by about 50 strangers. I was trying to ignore all of them so no conversation would be attempted. I didn't know it but I was also dealing with the stress of being exposed to the energy of all those people.
Then the obvious happens. Jeff comes back and joins me on my trashcan. I am not lying when I say I stared straight at the drum and tried to pretend he did not exist. Jeff has come up and joined me on the drum so that we can practice together, and I pretend he does not exist. There was no doubting what I was thinking. I could be extremely confrontational if I was uncomfortable.
We stood there for a minute or two, then the lesson began. We played one song or so. My attitude was so strong, Jeff could not ignore it. I didn't want to be a jerk.I could not stop my instinctive reaction. I think when we played the song, I was obviously hitting the drum in an aggressive manner while looking in every direction but his. Basically I was as intolerable as I could be.
It worked. After we played that song, he walked away to the front of the room. He acted like he wanted to get closer to the instructor. We both knew it was because I was making us both uncomfortable. The lesson proceeded uneventfully for the rest of the evening. I do not remember if I saw him before leaving or not.
This event sticks with me because it set a pattern for my future behavior. I needed help with my health problem. My health problem forced me to push people away because I could not deal with their presence. Anyone that could get close enough to help me, I pushed them away because I physically could not stand their proximity.
I was also suspicious mentally of everyone. The kung fu instructor who had encouraged me in such a way that I became ill? I had trusted him totally. I did exactly what he encouraged me to beleive was best. I trusted him so much that, even after I knew something was wrong with my health, I stayed another 6 months or a year.
Because of that broken trust, I was suspicious of everyone. Even this new group of people who were going to help me. They said they could help. They all looked and behaved like nice and friendly people. But then so had the kung fu instructor who encoraged me to become ill.
I think the perceptive among you are probably thinking "I can see where this is going. This guy is rude, unfriendly and antisocial. Yet he still expects a group of total strangers to accept this behavior and cure him".
Yep. That is basically what this story is all about. A tragedy of miscommunication, unrealistic expectations and total misunderstanding.
:)
I was interested in the Taiko drumming and wanted to talk about it to someone because the Taiko drum group I mentioned gave lessons. They had access to a large auditorium at a major mall. The classes were held at night and were open to anyone who could pay. The classes focused on the drumming rythyms. Instead of using real drums, upended trash cans were used. That sounds humourous but it worked out well.
When they held classes, everyone in the mall knew it. That might be how I discovered the classes. Walking thru the mall and following the noise. The mall was devoted to Asian style stores. A large Japanese book store, Japanese food court, Japanese video store, Japanese toy store, Japanese curio store. I would go to the book store because it was like a book store in Japan. Huge. With books about everything you could imagine. The Japanese are detail oriented people. All of their books have that attention to detail.
After I heard of the Taiko drum class, I had always wanted to join it. I had never actually gotten around to it. For some reason, I decided to go and attend a class at some time after the meeting at Dr G's house.
I went to the mall for the class, arriving a little early. They had a class for advanced people before the open class. The advanced people would stay over and help teach the beginner class. The beginner class was mostly a money maker to pay for trips for the skilled people.
I had a book with me to pass the time. I sat down on a planter out in front of the school and began reading. I ignore the outside world when I am reading. Suddenly I hear someone say "Hi!". I look up and it is the man from the meeting at Dr. G's. The one who I had talked to about Taiko music. He had shown up to take a lesson too.
I froze. Literally. The first thought in my head was "Darn. I am going to have to talk to him".
Doesn't that seem odd? I was going to join their group in the hopes that the instructor could help me with my health problems. Here is one of the men from the group, and I don't want to talk to him. It was the health problem. I had trouble dealing with people. I did not know it at the time but I had more trouble with people who possessed strong energy. The guy was a long time kung fu practioner. I did not know this at the time, but now I think my strong reaction must have been because he had strong energy. I instinctively pushed people like that away or shunned them because I was reminded of the man who had encouraged me to develop the health problems in the first place.
His name was Jeff. Jeff said something like "What are you reading?". I showed him the book and told him the title. I might have said something about the plot. Then I remember picking the book up and reading it again. Obviously and rudely ignoring the guy. Looking back on it, I was so rude it must have astonished him. He kind of sauntered away slowly like he had planned to do that all along. What else could he do as I was ignoring him?
The advanced class let out and the beginners class started to move in. I had never been there before so I got the payment process sorted out. They said they would loan out drum sticks to people for the class. I picked up a pair of those. We set up all the trashcans so the class would be ready.
After all the prelimanaries were taken care of, we were asked to move to the trashcans. The class size was so large that some people had to double or triple up. My unsociability directed me to the back of the room. I thought I would grab a trashcan back there while the more driven people would double up closer to the front of the room where the instructor was.
I am standing there trying to be cool. It was hard. I was surrounded by about 50 strangers. I was trying to ignore all of them so no conversation would be attempted. I didn't know it but I was also dealing with the stress of being exposed to the energy of all those people.
Then the obvious happens. Jeff comes back and joins me on my trashcan. I am not lying when I say I stared straight at the drum and tried to pretend he did not exist. Jeff has come up and joined me on the drum so that we can practice together, and I pretend he does not exist. There was no doubting what I was thinking. I could be extremely confrontational if I was uncomfortable.
We stood there for a minute or two, then the lesson began. We played one song or so. My attitude was so strong, Jeff could not ignore it. I didn't want to be a jerk.I could not stop my instinctive reaction. I think when we played the song, I was obviously hitting the drum in an aggressive manner while looking in every direction but his. Basically I was as intolerable as I could be.
It worked. After we played that song, he walked away to the front of the room. He acted like he wanted to get closer to the instructor. We both knew it was because I was making us both uncomfortable. The lesson proceeded uneventfully for the rest of the evening. I do not remember if I saw him before leaving or not.
This event sticks with me because it set a pattern for my future behavior. I needed help with my health problem. My health problem forced me to push people away because I could not deal with their presence. Anyone that could get close enough to help me, I pushed them away because I physically could not stand their proximity.
I was also suspicious mentally of everyone. The kung fu instructor who had encouraged me in such a way that I became ill? I had trusted him totally. I did exactly what he encouraged me to beleive was best. I trusted him so much that, even after I knew something was wrong with my health, I stayed another 6 months or a year.
Because of that broken trust, I was suspicious of everyone. Even this new group of people who were going to help me. They said they could help. They all looked and behaved like nice and friendly people. But then so had the kung fu instructor who encoraged me to become ill.
I think the perceptive among you are probably thinking "I can see where this is going. This guy is rude, unfriendly and antisocial. Yet he still expects a group of total strangers to accept this behavior and cure him".
Yep. That is basically what this story is all about. A tragedy of miscommunication, unrealistic expectations and total misunderstanding.
:)
posted by Happeh at 12:57 PM
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