The new student and the conspiracy

The new student is part of a conspiracy. One I am not privy to.

The next weekend the new student arrives. Dr G. has accepted him as a student. We all talk to him and congratulate him. The usual class takes place with Dr G. talking, then the actual physical practice. The new student was placed with T, A and myself for practice.

I cannot tell you much of what took place for reasons that will soon be obvious. He came to class, practiced with us and spoke to us. I can say that I did not respect him too much. He was a soft kind of person. I think he might have practiced along the insincere lines of T and A. I can say that I felt nothing special towards him. That he was a friend or someone I wanted to know better.

Then came the conspiracy. I was not to know it was a conspiracy until years later.

After a month, 4 weekends of classes, the new man says that he wants to speak to us. We all look at each other wondering what is up. It sounds serious. He wants to include Dr G. in his speech. This really makes us wonder. I think I was working out and was called over as one of the last people. I think the situation was, the man spoke to Dr G to make his request, Dr G. told the senior students, then they told us.

I walked over to the group last. T, A, J, and L were clumped together in a group. Dr G was off to one side by himself to retain dominance distance. G was off to the other side of the goup of T, A, J and L. J's friend was directly opposite the group. When I walked up, I walked up next to G. Dr. G. then directed the man to go ahead with his speech.

The man said he did not think Ba Gua was for him. Then he looked at everyone. I couldn't believe my ears. I was literally dumbfound, stunned. I thought the rest of the class was also because no one said anything. Everyone was standing there silently. I was not paying much attention because I was so stunned.

Eventually what the man was saying sunk in. I could not believe what I was hearing. The man had passed the interview process and been accepted to the group. Dr G. was nothing short of a miraculous kung fu instructor. It was terribly hard to find a qualified Ba Gua instructor. To take an opportunity like that and voluntarily give it up was absolute lunacy in my opinon. I felt forced to say something. It wasn't until years later that I began to suspect my feeling of "being forced to say something".

I stepped forward and very plainly blurted out "You are saying you want to quit?".

He looked over at me and said "yes". Then G. says "Ya, I wasn't sure I heard what you said". Again, in my state of disbelief, I didn't pick up on the clues. G's statement was very heavy handed and......false sounding.

We all looked at each other in amazement. The man went on to detail that he did not think Ba Gua was for him. He felt he was better suited to the study of Tai Chi. He had a particular instructor all picked out. We asked him if he was certain. Oh yes, he was certain. There was no doubt. He had come by to notify us of his decision and that was it. We spoke a little more, then he turned his back and walked away.

I was in a state of shock. I had never seen anything so stupid and so foolish in my life. I thought the man was a fool. To not recognize the kind of man Dr G. was. To not recognize the opportunity. To be too weak to be able to deal with the class for whatever reason. Part of my rejection of him was that he offered no good reason for leaving. He just didn't think it was for him. I took it personal. As if he was implying there was something wrong with the class or Ba Gua.

After the man walked away, Dr G. called me over. This was a rare occurrence that filled me with trepidation. I went over and Dr G. asked me, "Why do you think it was that he quit?". I told him the only thing I could think of was that it was too hard. Nothing else made any sense. Dr G. pressed me for details. I said I thought it must be the strictness or the rigidity of the class that drove the man away.

By then I had been in class long enough to see that no one every challenged Dr G. He would not allow it. Any kind of challenge was immediatly derailed or misdirected. There was always a certain way to do things and a way not to do things. There was a way to measure up and a way not to measure up. For a class devoted to health and full of health professionals, it was set up to make people sick. All of the demands and expectations made the class very stressful to simple be in. Not even counting doing the physical exercises.

You must be asking yourself, where is the conspiracy? The man said he did not belong, we all acted surprised, the man walked away, never to be seen again. The conspiracy took me about 6 years to finally figure out.

It was all a setup. Everything from J bringing up that a friend of his wanted to join, thru the interview process, and thru the month's worth of classes he attended. It was all a setup to get rid of me.

Amazing huh? And me, being the kind of person I was, was too stupid to see what was going on. That is what saved me. I could not conceive that they would want to get rid of me, so I was blind to the conspiracy and all the clues.

The entire point of the exercise was the man's speech before he left. The man said Ba Gua was not for him, and that he was going to a different teacher more suited to him. This was meant as a lesson for me. That I too could leave the class and go find another instructor.

Then, when Dr G. was asking me why I thought the man left, Dr G. did not want my opinon. What he wanted to know was what I personally felt was objectionable about the class. Once he knew what I found objectionable, he could purposefully emphasize that part of the class to drive me away.

Crazy huh? Still makes my stomach hurt to think about it. That after a couple of months time, Dr G. had decided that he did not want me, he did not want to cure me, and he was willing to set up an entire operation in order to trick me into leaving.

I imagine the question most people would ask is, "If Dr G. didn't want you, why didn't he just tell you to get lost?". The answer is deep kung fu philosophy. He could never ask a student or order a student to leave. It was impossible. If he could trick the student into leaving, that was acceptable according to the philosophy.

The trap was not left to chance. Recall when I said that I felt compelled to ask the man "Are you saying you want to quit the class?". That was not a haphazard choice of words. I was compelled. Literally. That was part of the charade. Dr G. forced me to ask the man that question. The next part of the conspiracy was to force me believe that I did not belong in the class and that I should find a different instructor.

That part of the plan did not work. The reason it did not work is the reason I stayed a student of Dr G's for years. A reason I doubt I will ever explain to you. Whatever the reason is, it enabled me to resist being controlled and forced into performing actions I did not want to perform.

After the man walked away, we all went back to class. When class was over, I blithely walked away, totally ignorant that I had just participated in the first attempt by Dr. G and the group to get rid of me.

I am walking home thinking of how good the mantra of the group is. "This style of Ba Gua is family style. We all look out for each other and we all help each other. The family sticks together thru thick and thin".

With that refrain running thru my head, is it any wonder that I could not conceive of them wanting to get rid of me? I was part of the family. The family always stuck together, thru any troubles any individual member might have. From my point of view, what family ever gets rid of a member? Families do not throw out their sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, etc. Families deal with drunk uncle charlie as well as angelic niece jane. I know I had health problems and did not talk much, but I was part of the family. I was safe. They would never get rid of me.

;(