Tom's House - The beginning of the end?
Going thru these old posts, it feels like something happened once the men's meetings moved to Tom's house. Previous posts described how Jeff hardly ever made it to the men's meeting's because he was "busy".
Without the head student at the meetings, there was a natural floundering. After all, we were students there. A student has a teacher. If the teacher is busy, what does the student do?
Lonnie attended most all of the meetings at Tom's. Lonnie was the second top student. As has been alluded to elsewhere, there was something about Lonnie that precluded truly accepting him as a leader.
Lonnie would put on a false humbleness that infuriated me. Lonnie was a country boy who talked like a country boy. Except when he was at Ba Gua. Then he would put on this false womanly humbleness. I was so annoyed because I have a low tolerance for falseness. I could not understand who he thought he was fooling. It was a lie which was supposed to go against everything Ba Gua stood for.
I think he took this false humbleness too far, or he used the false humbleness as an excuse. When it came right down to it, time when the pressure was on, Lonnie would defer from his leadership role. There was a slight shift in his attitude that made it clear to a perceptive person that he really did not want the leadership role, with everyone in the group depending on him for leadership.
The result of this attitude was that there was no real leader for the men's meetings. The meetings had more of the feel as a gathering of friends as opposed to a meeting where there were things to be learned and enlightenment to be gained.
I think this was apparent to James. At this time the meetings were George, Lonnie, Me, Peter, James, Daniel, and Tom. After a prolonged period of Jeff's absence, James stopped going to the meetings regularly. He might come once in awhile, but the devotion shown to the weekly meetings before was not there.
What was even more odd to me was the fact that frequently Tom was not at the meetings. Here we are meeting at Tom's house, but there is no Tom.
I don't know what any of the other members thought or felt. To me this behavior of Tom's was subtly corrosive. Tom had been invited to join this special group. He had gone through an initiation process to prove his strong need to join. He joins and offers the use of his home to the group. That seems like the action of someone who is indeed strongly motivated.
Then, within the space of a month or so, the man never comes to a meeting again. Tom showed up for the first few meetings to introduce us to his home and make us feel welcome. After that, we rarely saw him. He might let us in and then he had to go somewhere. There might have even been times when he was not there and we used the house without him.
To me, that generated a sense of "who cares?", "This is all a joke", "This is a game or a play thing for children".
I wonder if this feeling was corrosive. Was it this feeling that led Jeff and then James to decide the meetings were not important enough to attend?
Without the head student at the meetings, there was a natural floundering. After all, we were students there. A student has a teacher. If the teacher is busy, what does the student do?
Lonnie attended most all of the meetings at Tom's. Lonnie was the second top student. As has been alluded to elsewhere, there was something about Lonnie that precluded truly accepting him as a leader.
Lonnie would put on a false humbleness that infuriated me. Lonnie was a country boy who talked like a country boy. Except when he was at Ba Gua. Then he would put on this false womanly humbleness. I was so annoyed because I have a low tolerance for falseness. I could not understand who he thought he was fooling. It was a lie which was supposed to go against everything Ba Gua stood for.
I think he took this false humbleness too far, or he used the false humbleness as an excuse. When it came right down to it, time when the pressure was on, Lonnie would defer from his leadership role. There was a slight shift in his attitude that made it clear to a perceptive person that he really did not want the leadership role, with everyone in the group depending on him for leadership.
The result of this attitude was that there was no real leader for the men's meetings. The meetings had more of the feel as a gathering of friends as opposed to a meeting where there were things to be learned and enlightenment to be gained.
I think this was apparent to James. At this time the meetings were George, Lonnie, Me, Peter, James, Daniel, and Tom. After a prolonged period of Jeff's absence, James stopped going to the meetings regularly. He might come once in awhile, but the devotion shown to the weekly meetings before was not there.
What was even more odd to me was the fact that frequently Tom was not at the meetings. Here we are meeting at Tom's house, but there is no Tom.
I don't know what any of the other members thought or felt. To me this behavior of Tom's was subtly corrosive. Tom had been invited to join this special group. He had gone through an initiation process to prove his strong need to join. He joins and offers the use of his home to the group. That seems like the action of someone who is indeed strongly motivated.
Then, within the space of a month or so, the man never comes to a meeting again. Tom showed up for the first few meetings to introduce us to his home and make us feel welcome. After that, we rarely saw him. He might let us in and then he had to go somewhere. There might have even been times when he was not there and we used the house without him.
To me, that generated a sense of "who cares?", "This is all a joke", "This is a game or a play thing for children".
I wonder if this feeling was corrosive. Was it this feeling that led Jeff and then James to decide the meetings were not important enough to attend?
posted by Happeh at 8:35 AM
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