Mom

Here I am at one of the office visits again. It is one of the first few visits. At this time my health problems are still causing me lots of trouble. I am still desperate to find some kind of relief. I am willing to do just about anything or put up with just about anything.

I also had a stars in my eyes kind of attitude towards kung fu. I had watched lots of kung fu films and I had a strong affinity for the "student obeying the master" kind of idea. I had a tendency towards doing just about anything I was told to do or asked to do because I myself felt it was the right thing to do.

Mike wants to know something about my background. My relationship with my parents, do I have any siblings, what are my relationships with them, etc. I didn't like that kind of stuff because it felt like cut and dried psychiatrist talk out of a college book.

I thought psychology was baloney as I have stated before. I had no urge to visit a psychologist or ask one for help. Dealing with these questions was a situation where I, the student, did what the master, Mike, asked my too. I thought it was stupid.

I tell Mike that I didn't get along too well with my Mom. Mike tells me I need to call her up and tell her I care about her. I am thinking "Oh jeez. This is so trite. I cannot believe I am here for Chi Gung sickness and mike is telling me to tell my mother that I love her".

I really thought it was stupid. It even find it embarrassing to discuss because the situation shows my poor judgement. I knew the suggestion was psychological claptrap. I knew that it would have no affect on my physical ailments. I would still have anxiety and heart trouble, trouble breathing and being around people. I would still be incredibly tense all the time and never comfortable.

Nevertheless, I said I would do it. I go home and make the phone call. It is an out of the blue call to my mother. I am sort of emotional when I say it because I felt that is what Mike wanted. He was acting like some big emotional catharsis would magically make my physcial symptoms go away.

I am sorry to report that it didn't. I called mom. Told her I loved her. The next day I still had the physical symptoms of Chi Gung sickness. I still had them the next week and at the end of the month.

I felt really stupid. I didn't get along so well with my mother. I did not really want to make that phone call but I did on Mike's advice.

Now, looking back at it, I can see Mike was just passing on something he learned in a book. He did not honestly believe it would make any difference in my health. It was just something he could tell me to do so it looked like he was doing something for me.


I will say something from Mike's perspective. Since it is probably him forcing me to do it. ;)

Mike believes that emotions strongly impact the body. I believe that also. He might have told me to tell my mother I loved her from the point of view of removing an emotional blockage or obstruction.

His thinking might have been that once the feelings involved between myself and my mother were removed, then my health problems would resolve themselves. His attitude may have been that the health problems were caused by or exacerbated by the emotional blockage caused by my negative feelings toward my mother.

I understand what Mike was thinking if that was his point of view. I can understand that what he recommended might help some people in some situations. Removal of an emotional blockage can help relieve a physical health problem.

That approach would not work for me because that was not the source of my problems. The source of my problems was incorrect practice of kung fu, chi gung and breathing exercises. I needed some kind of physical relief for my physical symptoms.