Feeling Good
I have been a member of the Ba Gua group for months around now. I think I started around May or April, and by now it must have been summer. July or August. In spite of the things I have related, not just a few of which sound negative even to me, I felt good.
The talking that Mike did before class was the main reason for my good feelings. He spoke about what he called family style kung fu trainging. Instead of a class of strangers training, then leaving to be seperate people, he emphasized how the class was like a family. The physical training was just something we all did together. We were all friends, we all looked out for each other, we all tried to help each other.
I needed to hear that. I had trusted my previous kung fu instructor and had ended up so sick I was near death. I had no trust at all. I needed to hear someone talking about trusting others and working together. I needed to have my faith in people restored. It was slowly happening. Mostly because I was part of the group and people were polite.
I should probably mention that people were unfailingly polite. No one ever yelled or got mad or caused trouble. Except James of course. This constant politeness also made me feel very good. I had never been around people who tried so hard to adhere to a specific style of behavior and actually were able to do it. To me, people were coarse. They were not polite, educated, thoughtful etc. It was quite a pleasant change to see how the Ba Gua class as a whole behaved.
Mike also talked about Chinese medicine theory etc in his talks. This too made me feel good. This was the kind of thing I wanted to learn. I was convinced that this kind of knowlege would be my way to better health. I mentioned before that we brought notebooks to the talks. I wrote down so much of what Mike said my fingers would hurt and I would have to shake them out.
Mike also spent time talking about keeping a positive attitude. Now, that is such second nature to me I almost feel foolish mentioning it. At the time, I had never in my life heard anyone talk like that. I loved it. The idea that there were people who tried to stay postive, tried to do what made everyone feel good was my dream. My life experience was that every person on earth did what they could to make every other person on earth feel as bad as they could. The behavior of the Ba Gua class was almost like stepping into another dimension or going to another planet. The behavior of the people was that different and special.
Even though I did not speak to Mike, or I was not overly friendly with everyone, I began to consider myself part of the group. I am a loner by nature. That was a huge step for me to take. To look myself in the mirror and say "I am part of the Ba Gua group". I could not do that unless I trusted them. Obviously I trusted them, even if it was on a subconscious level I might not admit to myself.
I looked forward to the weekly meetings. Being exposed to these new and special people. Learning how they behaved and thought. Learning their customs. It was special and new and almost exactly what I wanted. I felt special to be learning an advanced art like Ba Gua. I felt special to be part of such a group of good and advanced people.
I settled in and considered Ba Gua my future. That is how good I felt about things. How much I trusted Mike and the group. How special I thought the class and the training was. I was a disciple of Mike's Ba Gua.
The talking that Mike did before class was the main reason for my good feelings. He spoke about what he called family style kung fu trainging. Instead of a class of strangers training, then leaving to be seperate people, he emphasized how the class was like a family. The physical training was just something we all did together. We were all friends, we all looked out for each other, we all tried to help each other.
I needed to hear that. I had trusted my previous kung fu instructor and had ended up so sick I was near death. I had no trust at all. I needed to hear someone talking about trusting others and working together. I needed to have my faith in people restored. It was slowly happening. Mostly because I was part of the group and people were polite.
I should probably mention that people were unfailingly polite. No one ever yelled or got mad or caused trouble. Except James of course. This constant politeness also made me feel very good. I had never been around people who tried so hard to adhere to a specific style of behavior and actually were able to do it. To me, people were coarse. They were not polite, educated, thoughtful etc. It was quite a pleasant change to see how the Ba Gua class as a whole behaved.
Mike also talked about Chinese medicine theory etc in his talks. This too made me feel good. This was the kind of thing I wanted to learn. I was convinced that this kind of knowlege would be my way to better health. I mentioned before that we brought notebooks to the talks. I wrote down so much of what Mike said my fingers would hurt and I would have to shake them out.
Mike also spent time talking about keeping a positive attitude. Now, that is such second nature to me I almost feel foolish mentioning it. At the time, I had never in my life heard anyone talk like that. I loved it. The idea that there were people who tried to stay postive, tried to do what made everyone feel good was my dream. My life experience was that every person on earth did what they could to make every other person on earth feel as bad as they could. The behavior of the Ba Gua class was almost like stepping into another dimension or going to another planet. The behavior of the people was that different and special.
Even though I did not speak to Mike, or I was not overly friendly with everyone, I began to consider myself part of the group. I am a loner by nature. That was a huge step for me to take. To look myself in the mirror and say "I am part of the Ba Gua group". I could not do that unless I trusted them. Obviously I trusted them, even if it was on a subconscious level I might not admit to myself.
I looked forward to the weekly meetings. Being exposed to these new and special people. Learning how they behaved and thought. Learning their customs. It was special and new and almost exactly what I wanted. I felt special to be learning an advanced art like Ba Gua. I felt special to be part of such a group of good and advanced people.
I settled in and considered Ba Gua my future. That is how good I felt about things. How much I trusted Mike and the group. How special I thought the class and the training was. I was a disciple of Mike's Ba Gua.
posted by Happeh at 10:05 PM
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